With Easter just around the corner and all things chocolaty on the horizon, my brain’s decided to question some of the ‘truths’ fed to me as a child - things that I’ve taken at face value ever since.

I’m talking about an egg laying rabbit here! A rabbit that builds a nest and lays decorated eggs in an act of celebration of the miracle that was the resurrection of our lord Jesus Christ! Not very Bible-ee if you ask me. More LSD-ee. And while we’re on the subject - buns with a misshapen Cross of Jesus? A branding oversight I think not. The Christian publicity department would have jumped on such an error centuries ago. So what’s going on here? Is there more to this than you’d first expect?

With the trusty internet just a fingertip away, I’ve done a quick bit of research and unearthed a juicy back-story…

It turns out that, just like Christmas, Easter is another one of those pagan festivals that was hi-jacked by the Christians. Missionaries around the time of 2 AD, in an attempt to convert many of the northern European tribes, turned pagan festivals into Christian holidays thus marrying two celebrations into one.

The Saxons celebrated spring by honouring the goddess of fertility named Oestre. In one story she is said to have commanded a large and beautiful bird that she later turned into a bird-hare creature because the hare more closely represented fertility. Hence the story of the Easter Bunny building a nest and filling it with eggs. Its not just any old bunny, its a bird-hare monster, favourite pet to the queen of sex!

Over the years Oestre’s name was translated as Eostre and Eastre which eventually lead to Easter. Incidentally, Oestre is also a source of the word Oestrogen, the female sex hormone. But that’s a whole different kettle of fish.

So what about the hot cross buns?
They also go back to pagan times. They were used in Egypt, Greece and later in Saxon England during ceremonies that involved sacrificial breads. The round shape represented the moon (another fertility symbol) and the cross the four seasons of the year. This explains why the cross always divides the buns into four equal sections, rather than being like the asymmetrical Christian cross. The buns were baked to honour, yes you’ve guessed it, Oestre and in many parts of the world became known as Easter Buns. Again the early Christian church in Saxon England adopted the buns, linking them to the Resurrection story.

Hmmm, a couple of well known Christian saying comes to mind here… “Thou shall not covet…” and “Thou shall not steal” ?

Thieving bastards! ;-)

But suddenly it all seems remarkably clear.